The long and short of it

I have discovered recently that I am not a fan of distance running…like at all.  The end of c25k was super hard for me to mentally push through.  I get bored.  My mind wanders all over the place.  Seriously there are a LOT of voices in my head when I run and none of them are very good cheerleaders.  Pretty negative whiners really (and they are fat and lazy).  After completing c25k, I first I decided to alternate my running days with distance (at least 20 min straight run) and pace (begin c25k program again, working on increasing my speed).  What I VERY QUICKLY found was that I do not like the long runs.at.all.  I much preferred doing w1 again (1 min jog/90 second walk alternating 8 times).  I was able to comfortably increase my pace.  When doing c25k the first time, my speed was pretty much 4.0 mph for any of the running portions.  I really was never able to kick it up any more than that, def never past 4.2 and for the longer runs, I had to go that slow to make it to the end.   Thus, my realization that I prefer the short rather than the long distances.

I was amazed at how much easier w1 was the second time around.  I felt like I breezed through it compared to the last time.  D1 I started at 4.5 mph and made it through all 8 at that pace, and kept alternating jogging/walking to finish out a 5k.  D2 and 3 I started getting a little braver.  I kept increasing my speed to see what I could handle.  Now it was a battle with myself to keep increasing my overall pace.  And I did.  I had some good days.  I REALLY liked the 1 minute of running.  I felt like it was doable.  I didn’t find myself obsessing about watching the timer and dreading the amount of time I had left.  Time seemed to pass quickly and I wasn’t getting bored, miserable, or having to fight with myself to continue.  I had an epiphany and realized that I may never be a traditional “runner”.  I may never like running an entire 5k (or other distance).  So what?  Do I really care that I am able to run an entire 5k or would I rather keep increasing my speed?  If I am being honest with myself, the speed (and feeling confident and strong) is a bigger deal to me than being able to say I dragged my butt through the whole thing (feeling tortured through it).  I don’t want to hate it.  So I decided to continue with what I enjoy instead of making myself miserable (and risk getting frustrated and wanting to quit) by trying to make myself fit into the mold of a “runner”. 

I decided that instead of moving on to w2 I would just continue with the w1 schedule and continue working on my pace.  That started out like a good plan, but I quickly got very worried about my progress this week.   I was starting out at 4.5 for the first run interval and then increasing it by 0.1 each interval until I was at 5.0 or as far I could push myself (think 5.2 was the farthest I made it).  What I found out quickly was that I am pushing myself on the increases too quickly.  I was doing really well the first half of the 5k.  My mile 1 spilt was about 14 min.  My mile 2 spilt has been about 13 min, but I am getting GASSED by the end of the second mile (or sooner).  My overall pace has been good, but I am starting to fight myself again. 

Then Wed afternoon I stated getting a tickle in my throat and I couldn’t seem to quit clearing my throat and coughing.  By the time I was ready for bed (early for me) I started having a chest cough.  I was really worried that it would get worse overnight and I would wake up Thurs full blown sick.  I took a NyQuill and went off to dreamland, crossing my fingers.  I truly expected that when the alarm went off at 5am that I would crawl out of bed to turn it off feeling like death on toast, skip the workout and go back to bed.  But I was pleasantly surprised that I really wasn’t feeling bad.  I had some congestion to get cleared out but the bad chest cough was gone.  I couldn’t justify skipping the workout so I got dressed and headed to the treadmill anyway.  I did choose the safe route and just did a walk instead of a run.  It was the first time I have just walked in a loooooong time.  But I was super proud of myself for not skipping the workout completely.  I was back to running this morning.  Although I have to say today’s session totally sucked!  I started out feeling very strong.  But I found that I def pushed too hard too quick again today.  

So decision made, I plan to go back to the drawing board and figure out how to still do the increases, but in a way I won’t kill myself doing a 5k.  And perhaps I need a more substantial food boost before my workout?  I will be looking into that too.  I’m not sure what that will look like yet, but I will sure keep you posted!

This pretty much sums it up (my husband says I could have just posted this and spared you from my ramblings)

Oh and as an added bonus, here are a few more songs I added to my running playlist:

• Fat Bottomed Girls (Glee version) - Queen
• Hey Soul Sister (Glee version) - Train
• Teenage Dream (Glee version) - Katy Perry
• Locked out of Heaven - Bruno Mars
• What doesn't kill you (Stronger) - Kelly Clarkson
• How bad do you want it - Tim McGraw
• Some Nights - Fun.

And just so you've been forewarned....I am on vacay till Jan 2 so prepare for a blogapalooza of posts as I try to get caught up!!  

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Motivational Monday - 12/17/12

Oh what to share this week?  I seriously have so many ideas swimming in my head, I am REALLY hoping for some writing time over my extended holiday break to share some with you!  I have 16 articles in draft mode at the moment – YIKES!

I thought this motivational picture was a good representation for where I am at now...

There are many times I have wanted a burger or insert food here - but I made the choice to say no.

I have said a big screw you to the fat and unhappy old me!

I have gotten on the treadmill many a time, wondering is it really making a difference, but doing it anyway.

It really is all about making good choices!

Last week was hum drum.  Nothing exceptionally exciting going on….just the same ole same ole craziness of life.  I am trying to get in the mood to do my Christmas shopping (yes, I wait until the last minute – I am VERY deadline oriented!)  I don’t know if it’s the unseasonably warm weather or what, but I seem to be in denial that Christmas is NEXT WEEK!  EEK!

I am on target with my December goals.  I took today as my 3^rd of 4 rest days for the month after completing 7 straight days of jogging workouts.  I used 2 too close to each other last week, so it will be a challenge to make it through the month with only one more.  I was hoping to push through for a couple more days, but I could tell that it was getting more and more difficult mentally and physically to push through and focus, so thought it was in my best interest to take a rest day.  Today was a beautiful day out and I was fortunate to have meetings in other buildings for work, so I was able to get in a couple of short walks to burn a few bonus calories.  Tomorrow morning I will be hitting the treadmill again!  I have started adding in plank hold and squats to my daily routine.  My legs were sore earlier in the week, but I am quickly building endurance and strength.

I am focusing on trying to eat more fruits and veggies and less carbs.  So lots of green smoothies and carrots/hummus for snacks, and my new fave is greek yogurt parfait!  It is a GREAT source of protein and yum!  I have also been having a salad lunch or a small entrée portion with a salad filler, and cutting back on the rice and potatoes (two of my major weaknesses!).  It seems to be going well and I am not feeling deprived and am pleased with my results for the month so far.

Weekly results:

Weekly scale +/- (Mon-Sun all weights):  down 1.2 pounds (I made up for my gain last week and down some! - YAY!)

Workouts last week:  7
Workout minutes:  311

Total miles last week: 21.79

What was your biggest challenge or success this week?

And in keeping with the tradition I started...my weekly pic

finally starting to feel a little more curvy instead of just feeling lumpy and bumpy!

Keep an eye out for another post (hopefully in the next couple of days) an update on my jogging.

Have a great week peeps!

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Greek Yogurt Parfait

When I first tried Greek Yogurt (used it in my green smoothies) I was NOT a fan!  It was good enough in the smoothies, but to eat it plain....YUCK!  It was too sour and I didn't like it.  Oh how the taste buds can change! I now find myself taking a lick off the spoon when I make my smoothies and thinking that it's pretty good. 

I love McDonald's Fruit and Yogurt Parfaits so I had the brilliant idea this week to make my own!    I was in desperate need for a new snack idea and this was just what I needed!  It is packed with protein to keep me from starving after 5 minutes and is just sweet enough to curb my sweet tooth.

Here's what I do:

1/2 cup frozen fruit, thawed - I use triple berry mix - raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries

1 cup greek yogurt - vanilla

Sugar free sweetener - I use Truvia (duh)

1/2 Nature Valley crunch granolla bar, crushed

Not too shabby - 285 calories and 20 grams of protein.  You can easily leave off the granola bar to save some calories.  It depends on if I have earned an extra treat or not.

Motivation Monday - 12/10/12

Sad to say this is the motivation I need today after my Saturday indulgence (thanks so much to my FitClub Aussie friend Kate for sharing this today....just what I needed to see!!!).  

I definitely had a set back this weekend.  It started innocently enough with a dinner date with the hubs.  I haven't had a treat meal for a while, so decided to take a bit of a splurge.  We went to a local mexican restaurant and I ordered my non-healthy favorite.  And dove a bit to deep into the chips and salsa.  And decided white cheese dip would be ok too.  So it wouldn't have been a travesty if I had stopped there.  But, unfortunately I didn't.  We were invited to go out with friends.  Mama doesn't get out too much and I made a couple of non-diet friendly choices.  But I do have to say I had fun.  Was it worth it?  Yes and no.

I really struggle when I stray from my normal routine.  I know I am supposed to allow myself a little give every now and then, but I really hate losing the momentum and progress I have worked soooooo hard to get.  I don't like having to lose the same pound (or few) more than once.  I want this process to be as efficient as possible so I can move into the next phase of the journey.  My problem is that I don't do just a bit of anything.  If I eat one piece of candy, it usually leads to the whole bag.  One cookie leads to a dozen.  You get the point...I tend to "go big or go home".  Moderation is a word I still need to look up the definition of.  Saturday was no exception.

Sunday I think I had a bit of a mental pitty party.  I did ok with my eating but I never made it a priority to get my workout in.  Which made me even more mad at myself.  One of my Dec goals was to only give myself 4 rest days for the month.  I just had my first on Fri the 7th and then turned around and burned another one two days later.  UGH!  Stupid!

Last night I gave myself a rousing halftime speech and decided to get my head back into the game.  Today was a new day!  I was back up with the too early alarm this morning and was hitting the treadmill as if I hadn't missed a beat.  I started round 2 of c25k and completed w1d1 easy peasy at an increased pace of 4.5 mph for the jog and 4.0 for the walk.  I made sure that Saturday was just a setback and not a failure.

So in posting today's stats, I am reminded that that short period of fun cost me over a week's worth of work.    But I am choosing not to dwell on that.  In the words of Rafiki from the Lion King...

So I choose to learn from it.

I will start over as many times as I need to.  And each time it gets just a little bit easier.

Here are my weekly stats - the good, the bad and the ugly.

Weekly results:

Weekly scale +/- (Mon-Sun all weights):  up 1.0 pound...womp, womp

Workouts last week:  5
Workout minutes:  235

Total miles last week: 16.1 

My weekly pic

(new to me shirt brought to you by my bestie Melissa!  love it!)

What are your struggles?  How do you pick yourself and get started again?  

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OMG 70!! & forgotten measurements

This quote really speaks to how I feel today.  I am sooooo PROUD!  And I do have faith in just how far I can go with this journey.  I have been aiming for several milestones coming up.  I was quite surprised (read SHOCKED) to see the first one of them happen on the scale this morning....I really expected to have to wait a few more days.  I guess my hard work is paying off!

  

OMG...I have officially hit 70 pounds.  YES, that's SEVEN ZERO as in seventy.  Holy heck!  I am halfway-ish to my goal (140-ish??)...more or less depending on what my body looks like as I get closer.  I honestly can't even wrap my brain around what it would be like to get even close to that weight.  It has been soooooo long!

I was so excited to post my Motivational Monday message, that I completely forgot to add a measurement update that I wanted to share with you.  

From 11/6 to 12/2 I lost another 6.75"....WOW!  I was getting a little frustrated that the scale was still so up and down and that for November I officially only lost 2.2 pounds.  Ummmmm....as Paul Harvey would have said "and that's the rest of the story"!  I think it is safe to say that the running has lead to some muscle gain in addition to fat loss to explain the lack-luster scale movement.  I lost an inch in each thigh!  I lost an inch an a quarter between my two calves!  Not to mention all the other places.  I have to say, this is pretty darn awesome to see!  That is a total of 41.5" inches GONE since mid July!  Being the broken record that I am, I will say one more time, if you aren't taking measurements, you need to be!

So to commemorate this happy day, here is another comparison pic for you...

Yeah, I have to admit, I felt kinda like a hottie in tonight's pic!  ;-)

I am still so amazed by this whole journey.  I am surprised in the strength I have found to stick with it, even when it hasn't been sunshine and rainbows.  The old me was full of fear and excuses.  What if I fail?  What if I disappoint someone?  What if I make a fool of myself?  What if someone makes fun of me?  I can't do that because......  So I would not try or I would quit.  But all that got me was fatter and fatter and more and more unhappy.  So my new motto is "So what?"  I will continue to try, regardless of whether or not I may fail or look silly along the way.  I am so blessed to have had the seed of desire and will placed in my heart and mind to do this and that it has grown into something so special.  

I cannot tell you how much it means to me to see that people take the time to read the jibberish I write, and especially comment on it.  I glow when I hear that they are proud of me.  I am excited when someone tells me they feel the same way or understand what I am talking about.  I grin from ear to ear (and often tear up a bit) when someone tells me I inspire them.  My life has been dramatically changed and the best gift in the world is for me to get to share that with others.  So thank you all for continuing to read, to come back, and to share this crazy journey of mine.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

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Playlist and misc.

So I have a few blog posts that I want to write, but since I was a total lazy slug and snoozed the alarm this morning instead of getting my workout out of the way, I ended up with a busy evening and won't have time for 2 posts tonight (or I would be skipping tomorrow's am workout too!... viscous cycle!)  So I let the hubs pick the topic for tonight and he chose playlist.  You can thank him later.  ;-)

Since I finished the Biggest Loser, season 11, I have been running to music instead of tv.  I just hadn't found any shows that peaked my interest like BLs11.  I could start another season of BL, but I couldn't decide which one.  So I just kept running to music.  It was super hard at first. But I pushed through and kept trying. And I am actually finding that I *gasp* almost like it now?  I am getting more comfortable concentrating on my footwork, breathing, and the music.  The annoying voice(s) in my head are not as obnoxious as when I first tried it.  My inner fatty doesn't spend the entire time screaming bitching whining  about how much she hates running. I actually think about other things now.  WOW!

What I have learned is that the music can make the run!  
I need music with a great beat.  So after getting some suggestions from my FB group besties, here are the songs I have currently on my running playlist:

• Don't wake me up - Chris Brown
• 50 ways to say goodbye - Train
• Forever - Chris Brown
• Die Young - Ke$ha
• Shake Senora - Pitbull
• Gangnam Style - Psy
• Put a ring on it - Beyonce
• Good Time - Owl City
• Everybody Talks - Neon Trees
• More - Usher
• Raise your glass - Pink
• Moves like Jagger - Maroon 5
• Starships - Nicki Minaj
• Fighter - Christina Aguilera
• Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes

So question for the day is - what's on YOUR playlist???

I have a Zune MP3 player.  What I love most about Zune is that they offer a monthly membership.  For $15 dollars a month I can have unlimited music downloads.  As long as I keep my subscription current I can play the songs on my pc and MP3 player.  I also get 10 song credits each month to "buy" songs that I can keep forever, even after I no longer have a subscription.  I can also have 3 pc's and 3 MP3 players on the same account (so my husband, brother in law and I all share one account - that makes it only $5 a month!).  I love that I can buy all the current songs that are my faves of the moment, and not feel bad (or go broke) when I have a whole new list next week.  In fact I think I have a list on a sticky note somewhere safely secured with a few new songs to download for my running playlist.  Now if Microsoft and Apple could find a way to get along so I could use on my iwhatever device too, there might be a prayer for world peace.  I know, I know....never gonna happen.  A girl can dream, can't she?!

My one other tip is from a friend....she suggested I chew gum while running.  Hmmmm....I am usually not sure if I can do two things at one...you know, walk and chew gum, let alone RUN?!  But I tried it and am pleased to report that it has helped.  It helps me getting into a better breathing pattern and gives my brain something to focus on (other than how much I hate it, or how slowly time is moving at the moment).  I also think it helps keep my mouth moist so I don't feel like I need to suck down water while running.  So try it and report back.

I always love to leave a quote or inspiration picture in my posts.  Sometimes they are really easy to choose - they just fit.  Other days, it is harder to choose.  While trying to decide what to use today, I didn't have a set "message" in mind.  So it seemed harder to pick one (I have sooo many!  I will have to blog till I am 80 to use them all I think!)  But this one seemed to fit.

This certainly fits how I feel about my running.  I am so proud of myself for not giving up when I wanted to.  For trying something that was outside of my comfort zone.  For not comparing myself to other that are faster, stronger, better at running than I am and allowing myself to become discouraged.  For competing only with myself and striving to get better every day.  For not being obsessed with "failing" and continuing to try again and again.  I feel stronger each and every day.  I learn more about myself, and what I can do each day.  I am stronger than I ever imagined.  What a powerful and amazing gift to give myself.  I am blessed!  

I truly wish that I could bottle up the desire, willpower, motivation, dedication that I feel inside of myself right now to share with you all.  Only slightly because if I could I would be a ZILLIONARE, but mostly because it would be the best gift I could ever give anyone.  I challenge you to take a chance and just start.  Believe in yourself, don't quit and give yourself the same gift of realizing what you can overcome.  I believe in you and know you can do it too!

Thanks so much to you all for your amazing encouragement and support.  Your kind words keep me going!

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Motivation Monday

Welcome to another edition of Motivation Monday!  I am excited about my results last week!

Weekly results:

Weekly scale +/- (Mon-Sun all weights):  down 4.6 pounds (GREAT week!!!)

Workouts last week:  6

Total workout time: 3 hs 54 min

Total miles last week:  18.7

I had the best week I have had in a loooooong time and it feels AWESOME!  Not to sound like a broken record, but I really credit my recent success to running.  I am trying to run every day to keep up with the weight loss I am having and keep the momentum I have gained on my running pace/confidence.  Since I have finished c25k and don't have the scheduled training sessions, my go-to run is w6d2 - 10min jog/3 min walk/10 min jog and then finish a 5k distance with fast walking.  This week I need to plan my next c25k training schedule - my goal will be to increase my speed/pace.  I am thinking of doing a couple of days of tabata sprint training in the week and then keep up with the longer runs on the other days.  I am also working on planning a strength training routine to help with weight/resistance training.  

Upcoming goals - December:

• Continue next round of c25k training to improve pace
• Begin sprint training
• Begin strength training workouts
• ONEderland (under 200 lbs) by 12/31 (a lofty goal, but I am trying anyway)
• 4 rest days (1 per week)

I am sooooo excited to get to ONEderland again, this is my motto for the month of December.

I am not allowing myself to use the holidays as an excuse.  I have bigger goals than the cookie, eggnog, or other "treats".  To me, feeling better physically and mentally is more important than giving in to temptation for something that will last such a short time.  Not to say I will be perfect and not eat a thing, but I am trying to ask myself is it worth it and try to stay as strong as I can, which is better than my over-indulgent inner fatty used to do. The strength I am gaining will last so much longer than those "treats".  Meeting my goals and doing my best is the best gift I can give myself this Christmas.

It is only the third day of December.  It is not too late to set your monthly goals and get started on them.  Even if you don't meet them all, you will be much further ahead than if you never set the goals to begin with.

What are your goals this month? 

Sharing my Monday outfit with you...

Pants I got at Goodwill (since I keep "losing out" of my clothes so fast I don't want to pay retail for transition clothes right now!) for $4.99!  They were too small at the time and I could barely get them on and no prayer for zipping them...got to wear them for the first time today.  I feel like I have long thin legs in them.  

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I am officially a c25k GRADUATE!

I am BEYOND THRILLED......Graduation day is finally here!!!!!  I am now officially a c25k graduate!  I have done all 24 training sessions. 

me after my last c25k session tonight - note the BIG grin!  

When I was talking at the dinner table the other night about being almost done with c25k, my older daughters (14 & 12) asked me what my treat to myself was going to be for finishing.  I shrugged my shoulders and told them I didn't know.  I didn't think anything.  Honestly, I hadn't really thought about it.  Not sure I really ever thought I would follow through and actually finish so I never really thought about what I would treat myself to.  But after they mentioned it, I realized that I really did need to choose a reward.  I worked hard to meet this goal and I earned something for it!  So here is what I decided to get...

a visual reminder of the goal I achieved.

I will be ordering it this weekend!

C25k was more than just a workout.  I learned so much about myself through this journey.   For starters, I am stronger than I think I am.  I cannot tell you how absolutely proud of myself I am for pushing through the strongest desire to quit I may have ever experienced.  I never thought I would make it past week 1, let alone all the way to the end.  I am still not a fan of running but I love having the goal of completing it, trying to like it, and getting better.  I also realized, even though I really already knew, that sooooo much of this journey is mental.  It is making the decision to do something and finding a way to make it happen.  It doesn't have to be pretty.  It doesn't have to be a world record.  It just needs to be done.  To all of those of you that are just starting or have doubts...you can do it too! Just keep going!

As a bonus for you all (I know you are dying for it), a pic of my outfit today.  Both my teenage girls told me how cute I looked, so I must have been doing something right!  lol

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Attn Runners, Jedi mind tricks needed!

Welcome to Wonderful Wednesday my fellow friends, bloggers, and lifestyle changers!

WARNING/DISCLAIMER:  I am super cheery today (bonus points for those of you that had already guessed that one simply from the opening line).  Perhaps it was the sample of the Advocare Spark I tried this morning (guessing it has to be a placebo effect - no way the euphoria could really last all day, right).  

I personally like to credit the nice little gift I received from the scale fairy today...

That's 212.6 in case you can't read the horrible photo 

(My sincere apologies...I must have been shaking/in shock while trying to take the pic!)

That is another new low!!!!  Hot damn was I excited to see this, and especially the week after Thanksgiving!  Can you say wooooooooo hooooooooooo??!!

I have finally figured out that running is what is making my scale move in the right direction right now.  That is good news and bad news.  Good news because I LOVE seeing lower numbers on the scale!  Bad news because I HATE, HATE, HATE running.  I am learning this more and more each day.  I could walk for days and not be so miserable.  But 5 miliseconds into running and my brain and body are begging, pleading, screaming, crying, and full on tantrum throwing to stop.  I seriously have to mind eff myself the entire time....5 more minutes and you can walk some, I keep telling myself that the entire time.  I use the treadmill, so about the only way I have been getting through these long final c25k sessions is to watch tv (The Biggest Loser Season 11 - holla!) on my ipad.  TV seems to distract me from watching the clock and listening to my brain whine about not wanting to run and constantly watching the clock tick by in slow motion.  I finished season 11 this week, so I decided to try music again today....painful.  I enjoy the beat of the music.  The right song does seem to help my pace/rhythm but I need distraction to drown out the skitzo voices in my head (whiners).  28 minutes has never seemed like such an eternity before!  

Squirrel....On the plus side....only 1 official c25k session left until I am a graduate! 

(But then I just get to start over again to work on increasing my pace)

So.....what I am BEGGING you for help with is to please share your Jedi mind tricks in the comments below on how I can come to love tolerate running.  How on earth do so many of you get to the place where you enjoy (and dare I say even love) running?  Do I need a full frontal lobotomy?   Listen to subliminal messages while sleeping?  Play Ozzy records backwards?  Hypnosis?  Seriously I am about to the point I will try anything!  Help a sista out....PLEASE!!!!

Here is a little bonus pic of me for ya today, basically just because I liked the outfit and had another "I feel thin(ner)" day....LOVE those days!

It's past my bedtime so ciao peeps!

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Motivational Monday debut/Thanksgiving recap

After a totally slack week due to the Thanksgiving holiday, I definitely NEED this motivational post to get myself back on track!  I have seen several other blogger friends doing a Motivational Monday post and think this may be just what the doctor ordered for the mental struggles I have been fighting lately to get my week started off on the right foot.  So I am committing to you to post a motivational message every Monday along with my scale results for the week and a recap of my struggles/successes.  I am counting on you lovelies to keep me accountable!  If you don’t see a post, call me out on it.  I need the help!

So to kick things off, here is the inaugural Weekly motivational pic – I thought this to be soooooo appropriate following the Thanksgiving holiday indulgences I partook in (more details on that in the confessional below).

Weekly results:

Weekly scale +/- (Mon-Sun all weights):  no change 

Workouts last week:  4

Total workout time: 3 hrs 8 min

Total miles last week:  10.67

Weekly progress pic:

Confessional time:

My hubby noticed that I re-set my alarm and skipped the workout to get back in bed this morning.  When he kissed me on the cheek as he was leaving for work he whispered in my ear words of encouragement to keep going with the habit I have built and not give up and slide back into past bad behaviors (even my kids noticed the absence of my workout this morning…ouch!).  And he is 100% right!  I am on w7d3 of c25k and sooooooo close to being a “graduate” I can practically touch it!  It is sooooo mental at this point.  I am not a fan of running/jogging/slogging anyway, so I don’t look forward to those 25-30 min sessions and really have to psych myself into getting started and to keep going (I play the mental game of “5 more min and then you can walk a little bit” with myself the entire time….ugh!)  But I really need to remember how damn proud of myself each time I finish!!!  And I am trying to break my habit of cardio only and switch to strength training exercises on my non c25k days but have been really fighting myself mentally to get started there.

I do soooooooo much better when I am in my normal daily routine!  I even have a love/hate relationship with weekends.  While I love getting to relax, spend more time with my fam, get things done around the house (or more accurately/typically be a total lazy bum), and the flexibility that gives me, but on the other hand I really despise the lack of structure.  It is easier for me to blow off a workout, eat at random times or eat random things, eat out more, etc.  I just don’t have as much willpower on the weekends.

I did ok with Thanksgiving meal on Thurs (oh and got in 25 min slog after putting the turkey in the oven).  I had a small portion of mashed potatoes, ½ a baked sweet potato with a small dab of yogurt butter and small sprinkle of splenda brown sugar blend, generous serving of green beans, stuffing (didn’t add butter when making it but prob larger portion than I should have), small portion of pistachio/pineapple/whip salad.  Only had 1 plate and didn’t go back for seconds.  I was full but not miserable.  I still wasn’t too hungry at dinner time, so I just had a turkey sandwich, carrots & hummus.  I restrained from buying or making a pecan pie (my FAVE!) because I knew I would just dive in face first and eat the whole thing (prob in one day).  So I settled for 1 piece of pumpkin with ff coolwhip.  I did get the hubs, brother in law and 3 year old to go for a walk with me before it got dark to work off some of our lunch.  We were at a rather leisurely pace but got 2.6 miles in.

Friday we were just bums and watched tv in our pj’s all day….heaven!  But no workout.  Sat was Thanksgiving with my side of the fam and had group family pictures.  I was a slacker and didn't get up early to get a workout in first (excuses).  Then we went to their house for lunch.  I did pretty well  - acceptable portion of ham, small helping of scalloped potatoes, small helping of broccoli/rice casserole, 2 med helpings of salad, a slice of pineapple, small wheat roll (no butter), my only second helping was the salad.  I did have 3 glasses of wine though….doh!  Skipped dessert because I wasn't a huge fan of either of the options and could easily live without.

I was doing ok till dinner time.  Still there and we planned for appetizers/leftovers.  I brought hummus and pretzel chips and made a corn/black bean salsa with baked tortilla chips.  Not too bad.  Then my sister-in-law brings out the yummy food….ugh!  Shoot me now!  I have no willpower when it comes to stuff like this.  Seriously horrible!  I have real issues these days with not being able to control the food menu or what is around me (ok I have control issues anyway).  She made a buffalo chicken dip (served with tortilla chips).  Not sure what all was in it but I do know it had cream cheese (my kryptonite) and cheese on top.  I normally wouldn't have even tried it because of the word “buffalo” in it and I HATE spicy things, but she assured me it wasn't too spicy.  So I had a bite to try it, expecting to not like it and I swear it had crack in it and I was hooked.  Then she made these crescent roll/chicken/cream cheese popper things…..OMG there was extra crack in those!  I lost count of how many I crammed in my face, but I do know it was too many.  And dang, I had been doing so well up to that point. 

Yesterday I did pretty well during the day, woke up late (so saved calories from missing breakfast), turkey sandwich and hummus for lunch, and made omelettes for dinner (mine was a spinach, mushroom, tomato, onion with swiss cheese like the one I had at ihop last week so should have been pretty calorie friendly).  But then again had some damn pie again (dare I admit that it was not just one but 2 pieces….ugh!).  I will be soooooooo glad to see that gone….only one more piece left.

But even with my roller-coaster success/failure of a weekend from a choices perspective, the scale has remained virtually the same….within 0.2 all weekend (hallelujah!).  I know that the good choices I did make saved my hide from the indulgences that I gave in to!  So I vow to not let these slip-ups turn into a fall.  I am back on the wagon today (and really glad there is a month till Christmas so can hopefully stay on track for a while!)

I seriously LOVE the therapy this blog offers me and I already feel TONS better and ready to tackle this week after writing this!  Thanks so much to you all for taking the time to read and support me in this journey!

In the spirit of group therapy, please share your Thanksgiving confession or success story here! 

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Fall funk....womp, womp!

Again I am trying to keep it real with you peeps….life in my “journey world” is not all sunshine and rainbows at the moment.  And I am reading from lots of my fellow “journey” bloggers that they are too, so something must be going around.  A contagious fall funk perhaps?  Shall I blame the time change and excessive premature evening darkness?  

:-(

I am having an off couple of weeks.  The scale has not been kind to me.  I am not excited about my workouts (or getting up at 5am to do them).  I am not excited about my food, more tempted to make poor choices, and finding myself wanting to eat out of boredom more often again.  I still have some of my discipline (at least when I overeat, its still decent choices…not candy, cookies or fast food) and thankfully don’t have much food around me that are bad choices (I don’t buy it so I am not tempted….I cannot be trusted).  

I am not sure what is causing mine…Perhaps the uncertainty and change at work?  Or feeling “out of balance” between work, myself, and family?  The constant stress of being a working mom/wife and there not being enough hours in the day?  I think the biggest factor is the feeling that this journey is taking me FOREVER!  I have been at it over a year now.  And while I realize that 65 pounds lost is an AMAZING accomplishment, some days it is beginning to feel as though I will never see the finish line.  I have said before and will remind you again, I am not a patient person.  I would love to find the magic combination of foods, calories, exercise, sleep, etc that will keep me consistently losing weight instead of the stupid see-saw it feels like I am on....I am soooo over the same up and down!  

I am a person that is very motivated by my progress.  Seeing the number on the scale drop, clothes get looser, or inches lost make me want to work harder!  I am also the kind of person that likes the comfort of a routine.  I find comfort in knowing what I am doing is netting me results.  So during the week I have a pretty consistent routine.  The weekends seem to be what is throwing me off.  I hear that your body doesn't like routine when it comes to eating and working out through so you would think that would be a good thing, but when the scale is particularly unkind on Monday I get mad at myself for breaking my M-F schedule.  Would my results have been different if I had stuck my old regular routine?  I sure wish my body had a database that I could go back and look at how what I did impacted the result for the good or bad to know what I was doing right and wrong (yup, I am an I/T geek....I LOVE data!).

After meeting Austin & Ken Andrews from The Biggest Loser Season 11, I started finally watching that season.  While I like BL, I wasn't a faithful follower before.  Call me crazy, but I felt terribly guilty watching from the comfort of my sofa with cheeseburger, fries, pop and usually ice cream in hand (and face).  But I have found it very motivating to watch while I am working out on my treadmill.  And I just love getting a dose of "what I need to hear when I need to hear it".  This week was no exception.  So much of this journey is mental...believing that you can do things you have never done before, staying focused and determined, saying I CAN instead of I can't.  While I have been having amazing success with the C25k program and running like I haven't done in years decades, the negative voice in my head still comes out and tells me I can't and that this isn't working.  I think the thought of "failing" scares the crap outa me.  But truth be told, I am not failing.  Even a bad choice or day or week doesn't define my success or failure.  My attitude, my perseverance and my desire to keep trying and most importantly DOING does!  I WILL win this battle and achieve my goal! 

 I will NOT quit!

One thing I have realized that I need to keep the positive thoughts and motivation front and center in front of me right now to get past the middle of this journey and on to the home stretch.  So be warned, you may start seeing more "quote" and pep-talk posts from me for a while.  

posted by BL-s11's Hannah today...I needed this one!

I need to keep reminding myself how far I have come, how much I have changed, and how I am inspiring others so that the finish line doesn't seem to e still so far away.  So you may start seeing more before and after pics too!  This blog is my therapy session!

I have to give big props to my oldest daughter.  As a parent, I think often times we struggle for validation that what we say and the lessons we try to teach are sinking in.  She is a freshman in high school (yeah, I still can't wrap my head around that one!) and is taking photojurnalism this semester...she gets her love of the camera from me!  They were asked to do a portrait assignment and write about the person they selected.  Yup, she picked me!  I was very honored but especially proud to read the words she wrote about me.  http://mhsphotoj.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/jennifer-owens-2/  These are powerful words from a teenager!  This is proof that I am a role model to my family.  They do see my hard work and success.  I am making a difference in their lives and I need to use things like this to keep me moving forward!

I have also realized that I have been getting away from the basics:

• Drinking as much water (much easier to do in the summer when its warm)
• Wearing my body media fit armband
• Logging food with MFP
• Measuring food portions
• Pre-planning meals & snacks
• Not "grazing" a bite of food here and there
• Eating more fruits/veggies and less processed foods

So those are the things I am going to be working on to get past this "fall funk".  I will keep you posted on my progress.  

And let's make this a group therapy session!  I would love to hear from the readers and followers....what fall funk are you battling right now?  What are you doing to fight it?  Let's be there to support each other. There is power in numbers!

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